My dog Serena is a Borzoi. She is an unusually good hunting dog with a strong drive to eradicate any encroachment from those creatures who are not welcome in our home or yard. It’s what dogs do? I accept it and prefer less “vermin” in the yard, but I don’t always appreciate the aftermath…
While I had noted a kerfuffle late last night in the yard that led me to think she had probably found a squirrel or mouse or other rodent-y thing and killed it, I was not prepared to see the “trophy” that she so gracefully pranced about this morning before coffee. She had extricated the critter from the thicket where she had dispatched it (nearly silently!) last night and delivered it to me at the sliding door with some blackberry bramble still attached.
I’m not good at this “dead thing” disposal game. When there is an estimated 25 pound dead toothy thing on the deck I will, and do, beg a friend to step in to help. I’m no fool on this one…I know what it would cost me in anxiety and actual retching to take care of this task myself. I say NAY and call in a friend or two whose skill set include carcass removal.
Atta Boy indeed. 
Here’s to friends who will help or at least witness the dark lurching creepy things that confront us in our daily lives and on our decks. Untroubled by foulness…able to remain composed for the removal of all that is NATURAL yet less than charming…HERO and SHERO of tidiness in the face of death literally at the doorway…Thank you, FRIENDS! I salute you!
harveymilkstool 
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Why thank you, Brianna! We would never argue about who is touching the dead stuff in our relationship…YOU! 🙂
Let’s keep hope alive?
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Just checking the facts here: raccoon-type animal makes poor quality life decision and enters your yard last night. Borzoi Canine Defense System is activated. Raccoon comes a poor third in a two – dog fight. Is buried in dog-food sack (without brass handles) as warning to others. HM – do you fancy co-producing ‘Coliseum – The Early Years’ in 2015? Matt is interested and I’m thinking Angelina for the part of ‘ticket sales lady #2’
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I’m in, Roadwax…I’m also a pretty good costumer…I’m thinking togas, sandals, lots of leather straps here and there, clubs, sheilds…and maybe a lion suit for my skinny dog? When are we storyboarding….?
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‘Director of Costume’ it is, then. If this thing ever gets off the ground then we’re gonna need a whole tannery and a significant warehouse of olive oil. Extra Virgin. We can’t cut corners at this stage.
Harrison is still whimpering about getting his foot stuck in the door so I’m probably going to ask Val Kilmer. I work better with manic depressives and he MUST need the cash by now.
I feel I have made a friend.
🙂
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Friendships dock in silly harbors, Roadwax. 🙂
I support Val in the role, as his naked, trembling thighs will likely delight and inspire manic depressives and their fans everywhere…plus, I simply dig the man.
Oddly enough, my huge dog enjoys dancing upright in tango-ish fashion. Is Val good with dogs?
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You are a wise and centered soul.
Val is probably in the fiscal position right now where he will cavort with a borzoi in stunning excellence if it gets him T+50% after midnight.
I’ll have my people message him. If we re-write the scene with the raccoon so that VK becomes the central character, would your borzoi object? Or, we could dump the raccoon and do VK with the borzoi.
You choose.
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At this point, it would have to be “stunt prey” for the shot, as the raccoon is resting in peace in some undisclosed location.
Let’s just move on with VK and Serena the Borzoi…really explore the depths of THAT relationship…perhaps Val would don a raccoon suit and we could film their wicked “dangerous love” dance? I’m reaching all the way back to Top Secret for Val’s singing, dancing and satirical skills here. I can see it sparkle with an earthy, woodsy backdrop in a clearing…lots of sites in mind up here in the Pacific Northwest.
Val Kilmer may work cheap, but I’m more concerned about Serena’s paycheck, frankly…the bitch occasionally ruins my shoes and owes me big time. 😉
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Okay…so, in Netflix language this would be:
“When a bounty hunter is set up by crooks to destroy an innocent woman’s world, he finds himself fighting for more than just his life.”
Serena will need 6 stunt doubles. Forget the ‘Rome’ idea. We’ll do it all on your lawn and pay for the immense damage using the shoot insurance.
Borzois are notorious for going off the deep end unless their owners are sound people. I am impressed.
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Shoot Insurance to include clause to cover: “…shoes, whether bitten by borzois or otherwise damaged due to fire, pestilence or earthquake…”
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I’m impressed that you know anything at ALL about Borzoi, Roadwax. 🙂 How was this knowledge obtained? Are you a dog lover? Is Val and his manly, trembling thighs out of the equation?
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I was attacked by two Borzois when I was seven (serious bit). New neighbour’s dogs. Male and female siblings, fully grown. They stopped just short of my throat. I remember their teeth clicking. Then, they sniffed me and guarded me. I have no way to explain why they did this but I am glad that they did because it unlocked something in me that loves dogs.
Val and his manly and trembling thighs are a far better act than I can pull right now. I admire and follow smart and free-thinking people who know that laughing is better than crying. That is why I am following you.
🙂
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Back atcha, Roadwax. We Artsy/Fartsians must stick together…and celebrate each other! I’m sure your thighs could muster the proper tremblation for this and a myriad of other silly projects, man! 🙂
Bummer on that attack…some people forget that their dogs are dogs and need some guidance around neighbour boys. Unwary critters that stumble into the backyard are fair game, though, although it results in carcasses…bleh. Full circle. 😉
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Full circle! 😀
OMG – “Neighbour boy”…!!!
I have finally been given a valid description after all these years of pondering my status at that moment in time. I can grow now from that point.
Thank you and please send my best wishes to Serena. Me, I’m gonna be prowling around for that is what I love about us. We are the bikers without bikes.
🙂
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And we follow biker etiquette.
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Fair enough! 🙂 Go Ye blamelessly! 🙂
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bookmarked!!, I love your site!
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Thank you for your comment!Come by anytime. 🙂
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