Weight A Minute



I was greeted with an unsolicited and probably well-intentioned magazine subscription today: Weight Watchers. I have nothing but praise for this magazine that promotes a “Brand”, a “Lifestyle”, a “FOCUS” if you will, for those who are seeking more information on products, fashions and ideas for weight loss. Magazines in general ensure that people inform themselves with cutting-edge recycled tips to maintain a certain baseline neurotic self-consciousness about the human form. I do not prefer the “BIG BOX” pop-culture offerings over a focus on my unique dietary and exercise needs and preferences.

Unsolicited advice (or magazine subscriptions) that focus on one’s weight and dieting infers so many assumptions about a person and their daily routine or reality that it becomes hard to know how to react. Wow. To the person who purchased this subscription: simply fuck off, please…but since you asked….


I’d have preferred to select my own magazine subscription. Choice matters. Actually asking a person what they might prefer to motivate or inspire them toward a positive goal is truly appreciated, charming and compassionate.

If you’re a woman in the US, you probably have felt “overweight” regardless of your actual size or shape. It seems that no matter what you have done, are doing, or will do, your actual weight is measured right alongside the weight of your character or any challenge you may face. I’ve always been on the higher end of the spectrum by any standard measurement of averages such as weight, IQ, creative outputs, etc. Oddly but not uncommonly, for most of my life it seemed that I was always on some “diet” or another, instituted by my parents or other family members, or because of some personal notion that I needed to be slimmer for my health and comfort. It has been a recurring theme throughout my life.

Ironically, a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome a few years back confirmed what I had already observed: I have a  glandular metabolic disorder that ensures that every calorie consumed is hoarded for the potential famine to come. You skinny fuckers will die, and mutants like me will thrive and carry on in the post-apocalyptic times of scarcity.


Sometimes that’s just the way it goes, so one learns to adapt. I’ve always known I need to eat very little to survive; the rest is just what’s for dinner, so I consciously eat less. There is a medication that I could take that would speed up my metabolism, but it has less than pleasant side effects that involve never emerging from the bathroom. Of course exercise is important to healthy, vigorous living, and I’m mindful of that as well. We all know what we know, after all! Or we should probably remember something about exercise if we are (indeed) an adult. Low impact, stretchy dancing, yoga-ish workouts are my favorites, along with walking, hiking and anything that tends to get my heart rate up. Winking smile

I stopped “dieting” and focused instead on the quality of my food. I’ve steadily lost weight gradually living by a few maxims:DSCN0648

Quality versus quantity.

The less “refined foods” the better.

Moderation in all things.

Margarine = Death.Smile


Letting go of things, ideas, and connections that don’t actually support my worldview or well-being has been a gradual transformation.

For those who struggle against lurching disapproval, ignorant judgements, unsolicited drivel or harmful assumptions: it helps to distance oneself from well-intentioned people whose perspectives of us as human beings are so limited that they lack the capacity to view us as more than an Icon, character, or archetype from a remote distance. People only KNOW you if they do.


When we “idealize” a person’s life condition, we make assumptions based on our own perspective and ideas and proceed accordingly.

When we “realize” a person’s life condition, we ask questions, acknowledge the person’s difference from ourselves and tune in to their perspectives and viewpoints with empathy.

Thank you for reading this rather personal glimpse into weighty topics. I love real people, and of course everyone and anyone is free to comment. Fair warning: prodding the opossum at this point might prove snarly.



Miss Ann Tropics and Pineapple Joes



Miss Ann is not a fan

Of people’s petty play

She sees what she will

But mostly looks away


It’s easier to hate

When you’re pretending

The compost heap

Is not impending


Pineapple Joe just minds his own

Without at care for what’s to come

He plays his game of dudehood grown

A selfish man of beachy bum




Why the carnage?

Joe and Ann at it again

Play with garbage

But don’t suck it in


Be a juicy fruit

Serve the center

Careful of your roots

Be a better mentor

Shun Hateful Ideas



Some might say “the struggle is LONG” but to me it’s continuous. Some people can’t celebrate life without dragging someone else down to puff themselves up.  The idea that someone or a group of people have no right to live un-tormented by the harmful actions and ideas of another group has PASSED . http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/29/harvey-milk-stamp-anti-gay-group_n_5412295.html

We can clearly see the harm and describe the tactics haters use, but it makes us uncomfortable sometimes to speak out against supposed “good people” who are coming from an ideological perspective that promotes of a false sense of superiority over other human beings. Any “religious” group that seeks to shun the LGBT community, people with darker skin than pallid, and insists that their “way of life” is threatened somehow by people who seek to simply live life free of harm from their neighbors is a group based on HATEful ideas, and promotes hateful activities.

It would amuse me if it didn’t directly affect the quality and health of our culture as Americans. Our human body of thought is always populated with a few cancerous ideas. Let’s shine our lights of progress and positivity into the dark corners where this cancer seems to thrive? Wikipedia has a great definition of this nonsense, including specific religious groups that practice “Shunning” as a means of social control:



Any group that can’t appreciate the value of Harvey Milk as an American Icon of Human Rights is a “hate group” or “church full of idiots” or perhaps “a group of lost souls” themselves. Bless their hearts, they know not what they actually DO to people who don’t deserve their oppressive bullying. DSC07854

I prefer to celebrate Harvey Milk as the sort of courageous American who inspired us to think of the opportunity and safety of ALL people who live in our communities. It’s about RESPECT for diversity.

I’ve started a “Church” of sorts for all of the Misfit Tools and Toys and Furniture in our American culture? Let’s laugh and focus on inspiration and improvisation? It’s called the “Church Of Comedy Kids”! Won’t you join my C.O.C.K. Army? I want YOU…to “JOIN” or “Like” or “Follow” along if you want to…It’s not a draft, and we’re not recruiting…we just ARE who we ARE…aren’t we? Let’s get outta this mess we’re in…Us “Misfits” tend to need inspiration when times are tough. DSC07617

Thinking Outside of the Boxing Nun: I Speak Metaphor

Please enjoy a snippet of my parody lyrics (with photography) of Total Coelo’s 80’s Hit “I Eat Cannibals.” It’s one of those earworms that keeps on giving in Parodyland…Please feel free to add a quatrain in the comments and think outside the boxing!




I speak metaphor


It brings out the silliness in me

I speak metaphor!


I tell silly jokes




They’re hysterical!








I point out the DICKERY I see




I tell silly jokes.




Star Trek focused me




On the Galaxy




It still somehow inspires me, you see?







The Star Trek-ery…

Eccentric Circles


DSCN3362DSCN3369 (2)

I was born into rather eccentric circles. Both of my parents were considered odd or eccentric at various points in their lifetimes. I accept and celebrate the idea that I may be perceived as eccentric when compared to a larger circle of normalized humans.

Ideas and words evolve in meaning or significance throughout history. Wikipedia describes the origins of the word “eccentric” thusly:


From Medieval Latin eccentricus, derived from Greek ekkentros, “out of the center”, from ek-, ex– “out of” + kentron, “center”. Eccentric first appeared in English essays as a neologism in 1551 as an astronomical term meaning “a circle in which the earth, sun, etc. deviates from its center.” Five years later, in 1556, an adjective form of the word was used. 129 years later, in 1685, the definition evolved from the literal to the figurative, and eccentric is noted to have begun being used to describe unconventional or odd behavior. A noun form of the word – a person who possesses and exhibits these unconventional or odd qualities/behaviors – appeared by 1832.

Gay milkstool with a mission


I have been so blessed to have been surrounded by some of the most wonderful eccentric thinkers…most of them have been far from wealthy in the monetary sense. After all, riches can be interpreted or measured in a variety of ways, as can eccentricity per our friends the Wikipedians:


Look up eccentric oreccentricity in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

Eccentricity or eccentric may refer to:



I guess I choose to embrace the idea that eccentricity appears to focus on generating movement and directing energy that is out of the ordinary. For example, not everyone can spend hours working on a metaphorical Art Project that is essentially a running dick joke…



Creativity itself is by Nature “Eccentric”.